I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
