But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
