There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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