kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
