As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
