Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
