we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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