Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
