DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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