She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
