dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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