we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dear god my vagina.
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