Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
