I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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