Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
