why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
