I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
