Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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