it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
