what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
