first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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