you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
