I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
