Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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