Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My penis needs a shock collar
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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