laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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