At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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