You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
id be glad to
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
