When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
