Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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