Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
