I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
