nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
