Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
