So drunk its hurt
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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