try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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