My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
