Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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