Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My hand turned me down
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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