I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
