he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
