my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
