all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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