So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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