I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
