drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
