I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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