I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
