We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
