the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
