My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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