She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
