don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
