but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
