i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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